Here's a few photos and some videos to keep you missing this little guy. He was staring at your picture the other day, I'm preparing him to meet you in just a few months!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
On our way home from church on Sunday Jon asked me if I felt any different this Mother's Day....it being my first official Mother's Day, and I said no. Then I wondered why I didn't feel any different this Mother's Day, and I've been thinking about it ever since.
Up until now, Mother's Day was a day to celebrate my incredible Mother. And after 24 years it was also a day to celebrate my wonderful Mother-in-law. Two women who've shaped and will continue to influence my own mothering. To add myself to the list of people to be celebrated on that day felt...weird. I don't know, and haven't experienced enough mothering to be celebrated, right? Through my pondering this week, I decided I was wrong. I've only been a Mother for 2 months (2 months today to be exact!) and I haven't been through the terrible two's, potty training, puberty, teenagers, or dating, but you don't have to know it all to celebrate what you do know. This is what I know.
I know that I couldn't be the Mother that I am without the husband that I have. He inspires, encourages, supports, and loves me. And he happily comes home and takes Conner and tries to keep him happy during his fussy time.
I know that I never thought I would get so excited about a smile. Conner's little smile melts my heart, and was the best present I got for Mother's Day.
I know I love how aware Conner is that I am his Mother. At only 2 months old he's a momma's boy....I couldn't be more thrilled.
I know that there are days that I'm overwhelmed and feel a little crazed by the new job of mothering that I took on, but I'm surprised by how much I love it. Contrary to a few posts ago when I wasn't happy about being a new mom, I've gotten into a really good groove and feel more confident.
And I know that the reason I didn't feel any different this Mother's Day is because my whole life up to this point I've been molded and sculpted by life experiences to take on this new job. I've realized that what has happened is I've finally fit into the role I was meant to play, and because it feels so natural I never realized how much I've changed and grown. I didn't feel any different because I'm exactly what I've always wanted to be.
And I've never been so grateful for that realization...a present to myself this very first Mother's Day.