Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Looking Up

After a few weeks, I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of the mothering thing. I feel so much better than a few weeks ago....thank you for all the advice. You are all so sweet to offer your feelings and ideas. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling the way I did.

Things are looking up every day and Conner is doing great. He's gaining lots of weight and helping me lose weight since he's getting so chubby. At our pediatrician's appointment last week he'd already gained almost a pound since birth. I laugh when I put clothes on him and they don't fit and he's only 3 weeks old.

A few photos to share.

Conner has a big mouth and I love when he yawns...it's so dramatic!

He loves to curl up when he sleeps...especially when he snuggles with Jon.

Much to my surprise, Conner really likes bath time. He's very content to sit and enjoy it.

He still cries, but I've become stronger and less frazzled when he does. Eating and sleeping has become easier and every day gets better and better. I'm starting to really like this mom thing.

Monday, March 21, 2011

My March Madness

I have a newborn.

I have a newborn who cries....a lot.

For the first time today he is sleeping in his crib without me having to hold him, or rock him, or pat his back to get his burps out. It's frustrating.

I called my sister this morning as I tried to console my new little boy, and we talked. We didn't come to a conclusion of what might be wrong, we just talked about how different this whole experience is....it's much different than I expected. And even though, nothing changed, got better, and I didn't have an "Ah ha" moment, I felt better, and I wondered why I don't hear more women talk openly about how hard being a mother is.

As a woman who's only been a mother for a little over a week, I know I don't know half of the hardships, or difficulties that come with this job, but I swear all I hear is how much people love being a mom. Everything is perfect. The baby is perfect, things are perfect....and all I can think is,

"This is so much harder than I thought it would be."
"What am I doing wrong?"
"Why won't he stop crying."

I've been very diligent in watching my feelings. Even though I'm overwhelmed, I haven't had any hurtful feelings toward Conner, or myself, but I start to feel indifferent. Mealtimes are becoming something that I dread, and I cry right along with my son because I can't figure out what the problem is.

Something that I know (and I have a wonderful husband who's been so perfect for this situation, and reminds me all the time) is that I can do this. I can do hard things. I am a capable mother. When I pray, I know God listens and is helping me every hour of the day. So even though, I feel like everyone but me has perfect babies, and loves every moment, and never struggles....I know it's ok that I feel like this. And I know that when I take it a day at a time, things will slowly but surely get better.

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Hours before we had to checkout of the hospital, we decided on a name....finally. I know people (my mom) were getting a little annoyed that we didn't have a name a little quicker. We needed to feel like it fit him...and this one does.

Conner Jonathan Shaw

Things are going pretty well. I'm feeling better and better every day, although I know it will take a while before I'm completely able to do everything I want to. You really discover how much you use those muscles, and how much you can't do when they've been cut up and re-arranged!

We are definitely in love. He is a big snuggler, but is very spazy when he sleeps. It's pretty funny to watch. We had our first projectile vomit situation last night....Jon and I both weren't really prepared for that on his 5th day of life, but we did it and everything turned out. I find the key is to take it a day at a time. I don't focus on many things in the near future, just today, and I love it.

I'll do my best to keep up with the pictures and hopefully I'll get the hang of things a little better, and am able to actually put on makeup, because I look pretty awesome most of the time! I did shower today which is a step in the right direction! Wish us luck!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

And a Baby Makes Three...

(We are so happy to be starting this thing!!)
Baby Shaw is here!

(Bath Time)

I need to first apologize to my parents for making them wait for pictures. I thought I would have more time, but recovery is a bit harder than I anticipated.

Things started on Thursday night, I was induced around 1 A.M. Things were going pretty good during the morning and then we weren't making a lot of progress by mid afternoon. Around 6:00 his heart rate wasn't doing very well so we were taken to do a C-Section. Things went pretty quickly after that and he was finally here.

Still no name. We are working on it really hard I promise....I think it's me who is holding up the game, but it's such a big decision! I'm torn! As soon as we figure out what we (I) want, I'll let you know!

Baby Boy Shaw
Born : March 11, 2011
Time: 6:22 P.M
Weight: 9 lbs 15 oz
Length: 22 1/2 inches

We are all doing great. He is so cute and I promise I'll put up more pictures as soon as we get home.

Wish you were here Mom and Dad! We love you and miss you and Baby Shaw can't wait to meet you! Just a few more months!

Monday, March 7, 2011

When You're Overdue

Being 3 days over your due date isn't fun. Most people can tell you are overdue...and in my case (I'm huge) I get pity looks everywhere I go, it's very annoying. I love and appreciate how concerned people are about me, but what I really want is to get this baby out of me. I sound really grouchy, but I'm not. I think I still have a pretty good attitude, I haven't yelled at anyone yet.

I've been weirdly obsessed with cleaning my house, checking and re-checking my hospital bag, and making sure my toes are cute...even though no one really cares, I want cute toes. Jon volunteered to give me a pedicure....by far one of my favorite things that he's done for me during the pregnancy. He was so intent on doing a good job, and I loved it.

We finished the nursery, and here are some pictures. I'm really happy with how it turned out. I'm sure more things will come once he's here, like pictures...but it's done for now. Enjoy...

I would say cross your fingers that something happens before Thursday, but I'm pretty sure it won't....I'm thinking Thursday or Friday is the day. We'll keep you all posted!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


At the beginning of February Jon was out of town and I put myself on bed rest because I was too nervous the baby was going to come while he was gone...and now here we are days before the due date and still no baby. Babies really have a mind of their own. My Dr. told me weeks ago that he didn't think I would make it to my due date, and now we are discussing other options in case I go past my due date.

Since I'm too huge to do much anymore, I've come up with a few projects to work on as I sit on the couch. I'm not much to take pictures of things that I make, but I'm 9months pregnant, so I can brag all I want.

This is a quilt I made for Jon. My very first attempt at sewing since High School and I have to say...I'm quite proud of how it turned out.

Apparently old school cloth diapers make the best burp cloths...you really need the thicker fabric to soak up all that spit up....so I did my best to make them cuter. My sister and I had a good time making them together. We really have no idea what we are doing when it comes to sewing machines. We needed our mom there to help us.

These are some receiving blankets that I made and then crocheted around the edges. I love crocheting. I'm pretty sure I was probably 9 or 10 when my mom first taught me how, and even though it may be old lady-ish...it's the best thing to do while you hang out on the couch watching episode after episode of Gilmore Girls.

I have two more things to finish up and then you get pictures of the nursery. Sorry to anyone who doesn't care, but we have too many family members who aren't here to celebrate with us so endure the nursery pictures.

Cross your fingers that we only have a few days left.