The Olympian

So I have this thing for Olympians, it's a secret thing. I'm not even sure Jon knows about this. I've always wanted to have an Olympian friend, family member, neighbor, what have you. Any close relationship with any sort of Olympian would do, I'm really not that picky.I know Sarah has this secret desire even if she won't tell anyone. My Uncle was a professional soccer player for the Vancouver 86ers and played in the World Cup. He has his garage full of soccer jersey's that he traded with other players. Did you know they do that in the World Cup? It's so cool. That's my closest claim to fame...unless you count being the daughter of the great Kevin. If anyone is anyone in WeJo they totally know my dad. He was the coolest Fireman in the town...I just have to gloat for a second...

I love meeting people who recognize my maiden name, and say with wonderment in their eyes..."Are you related to Kevin?" Why yes, yes I am. I love being Kevin's daughter...especially when I was single and cute firemen knew who he was....

Ok I'm done.

After the uncle retired from soccer my sister and I moved on to Beth (the youngest of the sisters). She is tall. She passed me up when I was in 7th grade. She is beautiful, she is tan...she basically is the perfect person to be a beach volleyball player and Sarah and I totally wanted her to be an Olympian. After she decided she didn't want to be sucked in to the Olympian lifestyle (I guess it's a pretty rough life. Strict and what not....Beth is not that kind of person), I moved on to my darling cousin Amelia. She is basically Beth but younger. She's also the soccer playing uncles' daughter. She's a swimmer. When she was 8 or 9 she was making crazy swimming times at her meets...like a female Michael Phelps. I knew this was my shot. She too succumbed to the desire to let go of the Olympic lifestyle and decided to play soccer instead....maybe I still have a chance? Amelia? Do I?

A few weeks ago I met my own Olympian. Although, I didn't really know he was an Olympian. He's also a Dr and that's why I went to him... I was told he was the best orthopedic surgeon around. So I made an appointment based soley on his MD credentials. This is the conversation I had with Jon.

Me: I made an appointment with an Orthopedic Surgeon
Jon: Good, which one?
Me: Umm Heiden. You're mom recommended him.
Jon: Wait...Eric Heiden? As in the Eric Heiden? Eric Heiden the OLYMPIAN??
Me: Um...I don't know. His name is Eric Heidn. Is he really an Olympian?

...my secret desire to befriend him growing stronger...

Jon: He could possibly be the best speed skater ever...in all of Olympic history.

....me getting more excited by the second to see this guy...

The next day Jon sent me a link to Wikipedia with a pretty good explanation of who the guy really was. It was thrilling, exhilerating. I was this close! I hoped he had his gold medals in a case in his office! We could be friends! I couldn't wait....

Then he told me that I needed to stop wearing high heels, wear orthotics (like an old lady) and go to Physical Therapy.

What was that Dr?

No high heels?

I'm confused...do you mean... never?

Never...ever?

Dr. Heiden: "Of course I can't make you, but it would be in your best interest"



I've decided I don't like Olympians any more.